friday, june 21, 2002
UPDATED BY: Adam "Kramer" Kramer

A Call to Spoons!

First of all, I'm not here to discuss "macking it" with the ladies, or cock.

Not my topic.

I'm here to discuss something more meaningful. Something dark, disturbing and sinister. I'm here to talk to you about the ever present threat of global proportions. That's right, pudding. It’s the scourge of our time, and I for one am ready to fight.

Do not look too long at the picture, it may steal your soul.

The main difficulty in fighting pudding is that it has very few weaknesses. In my underground laboratory I have been studying this new threat to humanity and have found it to be nearly impossibly to defeat, I have tried many methods. Bullets pass through it, a baseball bat just spreads it out allowing it to surround you that much more easily, fire can't harm it, and an angry cobra is no match for its speed and viciousness or viscosity.

Thousands have died already under waves of white and brown goo-like tasty snack food, more will follow. It has come time to warn the general public of this, should I fail it is up to you (the faithful readers) to carry on the torch and let the world know what I have done for you.

Do not try to fight alone; you will only end up like the many who have tried before you. Instead band together against the menace. Together you can stop the tide of deliciously flavoured evil.

If you fight together you won’t end up like this unfortunate soul.

Be strong, you can survive. If everything works out well you can also you can get a good dessert out of this.