ARTICLE ARCHIVES

WEDNESDAY, JULY 3, 2002
UPDATED BY: HUGO T. KNICKERBOCKER

THE UNICORN : NATURE'S THROBBING DILDO

Greetings, my fellow netdwellers! Have I got a special surprise for you! This weeks update is dedicated to that majestic and magical of nature's creation, the unicorn. What better way to commemorate this magical throbbing sexy creature than with it's own special place on the net! :)


Early unicorn sightings in the middle ages.

As you can see, friends, the unicorn has been with us for ages and ages. Observe the beauty of this wonderful, fantastic, hard, wet... ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhhh OHHHHHH!!! YEAH!!

Moving on.

It is important, however, to note that there is more than one kind of unicorn. The following is a rare illustration of the classic Equino cocktasticus, more commonly referred to as the "Purple Thruster".


Observe the wonderful contrast of colours.

I have often been asked; "what is the proper way to ride a unicorn?". A simple enough question, with a far more complicated answer. As everybody knows, unicorns are famous for their free spirit and hot tempers, making riding difficult for all but the most experienced journeyman. For beginners, I would suggest considering the following illustration.


She smiles now, but talk to her tomorrow.

Now, is it quite apparent from the illustration that this woman is not going to ride the unicorn. The unicorn will be, quite literally, riding her. Although she will most likely not survive the experience, those few minutes will be the happiest of her life.

I'm Hugo T. Knickerbocker, thank you for reading all about the fantastic, mantastic world of unicorns!

 
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